Silence Makes Difference

| Saturday, March 17, 2012
By Fabio Zocante


One of my favorite proverbs is, "Never say anything that won't improve on silence." To confirm the source of authority recognized as silence. It's and forever has been so effective and so universally obtainable for everybody.

Women have long had an almost inherit facts of this authority of silence. They've learned the negotiating secret that silence always makes the 'other side' sense uncomfortable. Immediately before you get hyper-sensitive that this is a sexist remark, identify that if you accused me of that to my face, I would give you the 'silent treatment'.


You'd hold to preserve in the echo of your accusation and rapidly come to the comprehension that what I really did was provide women a well-deserved compliment. Men lean to be quick to reply, too quick on the resistance and too quick at opening their jaws and inserting a foot.


In any bargaining exchange - be it business, family or personal - one party being silent allows that party to gain control. Now they have to maintain eye contact. They have to show little or no emotion. They must get a sense for how long that silence should last and know that a few second usually does the trick.


That silence not only facilitates a 'power shift', it also provides time to carefully craft a reply. Speaking very quickly, too 'off the cuff' has compromised the effectiveness of many a decent negotiating situation.


What's the old expression...."You can be silent and have people thought you are a fool, or you can open your mouth and prove it?" We've all had our split of speaking without our best strategy completely engaged. Decent negotiators recognize that they are not always is an advantageous situation, but they are skilled at compensating for their anxiety. It really is a ability worth rising as we Keep Negotiating.




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